2021.09.22 08:50 Ok_Bid_7343 Cresco/Supply response to seeded batch of Rollins flower
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2021.09.22 08:50 Alefoto_ test
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2021.09.22 08:50 thicklypaintedwalls Dino Crisis - tight rope with a rainstick
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2021.09.22 08:50 Grubbaboi What do you think about gaming shorts like this one?
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2021.09.22 08:50 khaliliiiov_1997 Old mini TV
2021.09.22 08:50 jrtistcamer Face V Cloud by me
2021.09.22 08:50 RunToTheHills666 I need to be lost, because I am lost
I’ve been out of work now for the past month. Not because of anything other than me willingly leaving my job. Why? I was burned out. I’m in my early 20s and I have such a negative outlook on life. Ive always worked hard jobs and I’ve always worked lots of hours and it’s steadily destroying me. I have a few different mentalities that I would say are a blessing and a curse. The idea of working the same job forever horrifies me. The idea of working to live horrifies me. Not being able to live freely and do what I want until I retire in 40 plus years horrifies me. Not wanting to live the “American dream” As it’s referred to is a very different thing nowadays. From my experience with this mentality, people tend to look down at me, call me lazy, say I’m making excuses when I say I want to live A different life. How could I not want to settle in a job? How could I not want to be secure? It blows my mind but it’s such a taboo thing to want to live freely with a unique life that was given to me.
I love music, I love playing music, I love writing music. If there is anything that makes me, me, and makes me unique, it’s my love and passion for music. If I can be more specific, I want to touch people and inspire them with my music, as my idols have done for me. I was given this passion by the people I look up to and I want nothing more than to be that person for someone else but, the pursuit of passion is for dreamers with their heads in the clouds. Constantly being bombarded by the “real world” that my passion is only that; a dream. A dream I need to wake up from so I can start a real life. And that is truly soul crushing. And don’t get me wrong, I know I need to make money. I know I need to financially provide for myself to live. I’m not against that idea.
As I said, these forms of thinking are a blessing and a curse. It’s wonderful to love something, to do something that makes me happy. In such crazy times, I have something I can always turn to, to get even a little joy into my everyday life, even if it’s fleeting. But once that feeling fades, I’m left with the cursed side. The fear that I can’t make those dreams a reality. That I can’t reach out and grab them. I’m getting older and they seem to be fading. The more I work, the more I feel deflated. The less time I get to myself, the more I feel like my passions and dreams are slipping away into something I’ll never be able to grab ahold of again.
I don’t quite know what to do. To be honest, it’s tearing me apart. Everyday I try and push both of these constantly battling feelings to the side so I can just survive and work but that only delays things and makes them worse. I’ve been looking for work the last two weeks and I finally found a job. In a week, I’ll be back to working 6-7 days a week full time and I’m terrified. It’s unrealistic to want what I want. Even I’m somewhat convinced by that. I hold onto what I can of my passion while continuing monotonous, daily motions while watching time go by and any chance of my dream fade. I’m so anxious because of it.
I’m aware the title of this may not make much sense but for me, it is everything. There is so much going on, in the world, in my life. I know I can’t stop time. I know I can’t be given a clear choice laid before me like a crossroads. I am, in every meaning of the word, lost. All I feel is pressure, all I feel is an hour glass, all I feel is the reality of the world. I tend to lean towards the belief that everything happens for a reason and everything happens in due time but with this choice, with my life, I don’t feel comfort in that notion. I’m filled with dread and anxiety. That’s why I feel I need to be lost.
The idea of being somewhere, where I don’t even know of, and being untouchable in a sense would help. I’m surrounded by the same things everyday. I still live in the same place I was born. I’ve never moved away. Familiarity is clouding my mind. It’s like being in your own head for too long but in a more literal sense. Even my walks in nature aren’t the same. They’re all too familiar and attached with the same anxiety and fear I tried to briefly escape. It feels as if being underwater and those short getaways, those short walks are just quickly coming up for air then going back under. I need to be able to breath. To step back from chaos and to see my world from an outside perspective. It almost sounds like too much to ask for anymore.
I feel I’m rambling at this point but this is something that I feel in my heart and Soul. I need a change and I don’t have anyone to talk to. I have my family and I have plenty of people who would listen but I don’t think I have anyone who would hear it. They wouldn’t truly understand. I believe everyone should follow their dreams and their hearts. I believe I should but it feels out of reach and it’s something I have to grab hold of again but I don’t know how.
Thank you for letting me vent. If anyone has been here before, or if anyone is here right now, struggling through the same thing, I hope you find yourself. And if you have, I’m all ears to some helpful advice.
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2021.09.22 08:50 TheSilverTongue7171 Visions?
I don't even really know how to start this. Since I was a kid, Probably since the age of 9 or 10, I've been having extremely vivid dreams, I could describe some in very fine detail, The locations, The sensations, The emotions, But that'd take awhile and I want to keep this a generally short question. As I got older the dreams turned into visions, Actual waking visions in which my physical body becomes very unbalanced and my eyes roll upward into my head and I see and sense things in vivid detail much like the dreams, Almost always the emphasis of these visions are places, Not necessarily people or feelings, But the actual environments themselves, A fair amount of time I see a very lush pastoral paradise type of place with these big looming mountains and crystaline rivers and forests and fields for as far as I can see, This isn't always the case though, I see very contrasting places as well, Overgrown cities, Frozen lakes, Endless fires, Sometimes places that don't always feel like places if that makes any kind of sense, Places that aren't inherently natural in a human sense. I've struggled to find any kind of explanation for this both scientifically and spiritually, They're not traditional hallucinations or delusions, They're not precognitive or clairvoyant because they almost never portray the future, I've even done research into things like Dreamwalkers and Seers but neither of those offered anything worthwhile, So here I am, I feel like perhaps ESP could explain what's been happening to me for years and despite being a Pagan for a handful of those years I'm still fairly new to a lot of this very spiritual stuff like Astral Projection and Clairvoyance and ESP. So I suppose I'm asking if these visions sound like some form of ESP? And if not, Then is there anyone who can help me understand what else it might be? I'm open to and would appreciate any suggestions, Advice, And or reading material.
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2021.09.22 08:50 i_will_fuck_ur_brain what time is there and what are you gonna do in 5 minutes?
2021.09.22 08:50 nupru-nero Healing from HF - Success story 2.0
2021.09.22 08:50 WilliestyleR79 If you own this special blu-ray set, and have time to answer a couple questions about the included Grail Diary, please PM me!
|submitted by WilliestyleR79 to indianajones [link] [comments]|
2021.09.22 08:50 Eystia What's a song, soundtrack or artist you secretly love but would never admit?
2021.09.22 08:50 Nervos1ty How do I get rid of my 3rd roommate?
Ok so it’s currently week 6 of the semester and my roommate’s bf hasn’t once slept in his own dorm.
I can’t change while she is in the shower, I have to prematurely change if I am in the shower and I forget something, they won’t shut up when annoying each other which is cute and all but it is literally insufferable when you are the bystander. When we go essential needs shopping, he has to come even though he buys nothing because he is using the supplies WE BUY. So while they are holding hands and teasing each other all cute I am next to them looking like a filthy degenerate 3rd wheel that won’t give them space. For once it’s the couple that won’t leave me the fuck alone and give me privacy.
I’m just trying to study and get good grades but they are either annoying each other or smooching or watching a movie out loud. I am a computer science major so I really NEED my computer specifically and I need the desktop space for math as well as my monitor for cs as well. I cant really go anywhere else.
Here’s the catch. They are SUPER nice people. Like literally they are clean, respectful, and honestly they seem to be a very happy couple. They have been dating for years and got admitted into the same college which is lucky and I am happy for them. I also don’t mind him coming over some nights and I actually enjoy being a wingwoman for people. I like to support whatever it is someone wants whether it is relationships or careers or whatever. But I need my space. I need to be able to sleep without them having a smooch session. Like please go to your car or something PLEASE!! Just let me sleep so I can study holy shit
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2021.09.22 08:50 Ralfop 360 DEGREE PANORAMIC CAMERA LIGHT BULB The camera can be discreetly hidden in a light bulb and attached to its fixture. From the outside, it looks like a regular light bulb, but it tracks everyone’s movements. These lightbulbs come with 360-degree fisheye lenses that can provide you
|submitted by Ralfop to HANITSYPRODUCTS [link] [comments]|
2021.09.22 08:50 lss_mobile_mod_08 New Members Intro
2021.09.22 08:50 SecondaryWorld I’ve asked a few people about my placements after getting full birth chart and have been told I have a Ted Bundy chart. I don’t know much about astrology, could anyone tell me why people assume im a psychopath after seeing this
|submitted by SecondaryWorld to AskAstrologers [link] [comments]|
2021.09.22 08:50 Tammutamy [LF] Bluebear, Bill, Molly, Egbert, Ava or Goose🥰[ FT] bells
2021.09.22 08:50 RNLittleRabbitInLove ロシアがAI部隊を編成へ 主役は殺人ロボットと無人機の「魂なき軍隊」
|submitted by RNLittleRabbitInLove to GiinSenkyo [link] [comments]|
2021.09.22 08:50 Gramzzz420 [FREE] SSG Splurge x Wacotron Type Beat 2021 - "Trendwood" (Prod. Gramz)
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2021.09.22 08:50 JurassicParker922 but you didn't have to CUUUUT ME OFFFF
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2021.09.22 08:50 Worth-Alfalfa4119 Who is my equal ? (26f)
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2021.09.22 08:50 bolixaw443 Walmart Coupon Diapers
Here is the Walmart Coupon Diapers
Really good site if you are looking for coupon codes. You can find most stores deals, coupons, deals on there.
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2021.09.22 08:50 4funluka xqcs take on cops who dont enjoy shootouts
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2021.09.22 08:50 BlakeDwarfStar Bernkastel Brings A Miracle To DEATH BATTLE!
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2021.09.22 08:50 prawnbiryani 💗☁🍦🌸🧁🤍🦩
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