2021.10.16 11:45 Andrew_The_Mess Based Off a True Story
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2021.10.16 11:45 Bvmbliii some sketches :))
2021.10.16 11:45 CyanBlue78 Reddit, I need some advice
So I've been struggling a lot mentally lately and I desperately need some advice because I don't wnat these problems leading up to something terrible.
I've had a skin picking habit for months that has causes my legs and left arm to be full of wounds and scars, and honestly it looks pretty fucking bad. However, this habit has basically turned into an addiction where whenever I'm bored or distracted, I can't help but feel a strong urge to open one of my wounds, and often times I end up opening it. I immediately regret it afterwards, but I just can't stop it. I still live with my parents and my mum's not been content with this at all. Her and I tried all kinds of this to stop this - I downloaded a sober day counter app, she scolded me countless times for it, we bandated the wounds, and she even threatened me with violence once, but alas, nothing really seemed to work in the long run. My mum's even been considering sending me to a psych clinic, which I'm strongly against, as I'll then be separated from my family and friends and there's gonna be no way to recover in a healthy, non-cruel manner. I've noticed that fidget toys helped me with lindering the urge, but most of the times I open the wounds, I don't have one with me as I am in a public space (school, training, etc.), and I'm afraid that I'll be ridiculed for playing with a fidget toy in public by people, also considering that I'm already a teen. I have experience with being ridiculed and made fun of because of my autism and my weird ass behaviours, and I don't want to experience it again.
I've also been struggling with self-esteem issues for a while now, and it's especially problematic at school. Every single time I make an unconsequential mistake or misunderstand something, I immediately feel super ashamed and worthless and end up having breakdowns (almost always in bathrooms because I've learnt from my mistake of showing people my emotions and no longer do it) in which I burst out crying and sometimes also attempt harming myself by hitting my head with nearby objects. Often times I think about how worthless and stupid I am, how nobody needs me in this world, how everyone secretly hates me and wants me dead, and how the world would be way better off without me. I've even attempted suicide a couple times, though in the most amateur ways possible (e.g. choking myself with my own jacket) Thankfully, most of the classmates I'm close to have basic human decency and care about me, however I don't think they're able to help me during these breakdowns, as they're nowherw near professionals and are confused about my stance themselves. (For context: I am a Grade 9 High Schooler in a German Gymnasium, so most of us are around 14-15 years old.)
Add the fact that I also hate talking about my emotions and struggles, since I usually end up tearing up or feeling like an asshole to people because I'm scared of the possibility that they'll believe I do it all for attention, which is far from my actual intention. In case you're wondering, yes, I am tearing up while writing this, however it's infinitely easier to express myself through text, as I can think about what I am writing and edit stuff out at any time. When I talk about them, however, I'm unable to fully express myself well without confusing people or becoming mentally and physically unable to continue explaining.
I also have a lot to hide from my mother - because she's a rather religious Muslim and I'm a (closeted) bisexual atheist, I feel an extra amount of pressure when talking to her about my problems, as she has openly expressed homophobic opinions in the past. Oh, and she's an anti-vaxxer who trusts alternative medicine while I'm pro-vax and pro-science. I hate the fact that I can't even trust my own mother because of our stances on things, it really sucks. (I am outed to most other people I'm close to though, excluding other family members)
Yeah, I know, it's a shit load of text, but I felt like I had to somehow open up and tell people about my feelings. I apologise for any grammatical errors & stuff beforehand, as I'm not a native English speaker. Note that I do not have the slightest intention to fake my mental state, and everything that's been stated is 100% genuine, plus I don't have a reason to, as there are a million other, better ways to get attention lel.
Sooo, yeah. Any ideas on what I should do next?
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2021.10.16 11:45 ObscureHipHop Soul Party - Da Bacyard
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2021.10.16 11:45 furfoxssakes Is EDH becoming overrated
I probably have around 25+ EDH decks and magic is a great game no matter what format. but it's starting to feel stale maybe I'm alone here .its just the games all take way to long and all games are starting to feel the same, even with the insane amount of decks out there. my lgs only wants to play EDH, I understand covid kinda killed standard but like it made playing edh lacking that competitive feeling and more of a blah time waster ,does anyone have a cure for the lackluster feeling
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2021.10.16 11:45 FigReasonable4306 VIOLET MYERS NEW OF MEGA ARCHIVE (LINK IN COMMENT)
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2021.10.16 11:45 Majochup Kidnapped in the watershed & where to buy 10mm ammo?
Hi! I recently bought Fallout 1 and it's been a blast! It's a lot harder compared to my previous experiences with 3 and New Vegas though.
I made it to the watershed to steal the waterchip-- here I can enter in a few ways, I can sneak my way by or lie that I'm a ghoul and the big mutant at the entrance will just ignore me. But if I talk to him or am too close to him he notices I'm a "normal", following that he kidnaps me and I get teleported to some kind of metal-looking bunker area. Is there any way to escape from here? I have saves before I got kidnapped so I'm not locked there.
Also, where can I buy 10mm ammo? My companion, Ian, needs it.
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2021.10.16 11:45 LlamaCat14 Improving inteleon V
With the new sets coming out and rotation, I definitely need to improve my inteleon v deck. Since I have a few ideas, I'm gonna list my deck, and throw in my suggestions on what to do with it.
Pokemon: 3x Sobble SSH, 2x Drizzile SSH, 2x Inteleon SSH, 3x Snom SSH, 2x Frosmoth SSH, 4x Inteleon V RCL, 3x Inteleon Vmax RCL, 1x Crobat V SHF, 1x Kricketune V BST, 1x Mew UNB
Trainers: 4x Professor's research SSH, 3x Boss's Orders RCL, 3x Marnie SSH, 2x Bird Keeper DAA, 3x Air balloon SSH, 4x Level ball BST, 3x Quick Ball SSH, 2x Capacious Bucket RCL, 2x Evolution Incense SSH, 1x Ordinary Rod SSH, 1x Telescopic Sight VIV, 1x Path to the peak CRE
Energy: 9x Water energy
I'm aware I need to swap my sobbles and one inteleon with the Chilling reign ones, but what should I change other than that? I've heard Melony is really good, but I can't see how well 4 copies would be in practice.
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2021.10.16 11:45 Thegodsdidnotfavorme (Rant/Vent/ possible advice?) I still love her and I hate myself for it
So due to reconnecting with an old friend recently who came out as gay and we were talking about it, it came up how I figured it out myself and I mentioned a girl I used to really like in school before I dropped out. He knew I was talking about a friend since I brought her up a lot in the past and told me to hold on after saying her name, he then showed me a picture of her now (5-6 yrs later) and I just ruined me.
Other than being the only person I have fallen in love with/ even been appearance wise attracted to, so was a default crush (Straight), she had a new male crush every week. Even back then I felt bad about liking her and guilty for some reason because I knew she liked cis men, but fuck if her actions did not help me one bit. She's always been taller than me and always used me as a arm or head rest (Not too odd since another gal I knew then did), she would hold my hand/arm around shoulders/waist when going down the hall or even interlocking our arms. She used to play with my hair and called it pretty constantly, I wore a choker to school once that had a gold heart with kitten written on it and she ended up loving it and told me to wear it constantly (I did till it broke, still don't know why), so she ended up calling me Wife and Kitten and even got me to wear a dress once (Despite hating it being told I look like a doll by her was worth it to me).
She was amazing, and of course had her flaws but fuck I can't get over her even after years of trying. I still know all her favorite things, what chocolate she liked and her favorite animals. And I hate myself for never telling her despite knowing I would of been rejected, hell I even helped give her letters to a few guys. I regret losing her number and never contacting her again. And now I feel even more guilty sitting here thinking of her and how much I loved her when I know she wouldn't even care about me now and probably doesn't remember me and has a boyfriend. I feel guilty because she's straight and I like her, and I feel pathetic for still loving her despite having not talked to her in so damn long. And I hate that acquaintance for showing me a picture of her when I thought I forgot her.
Beside's this being a vent, any advice on how to try and forget her is welcome, I've tried so much over the years and nothing has worked. If not that even knowing I'm not alone in feeling this would be nice if others have had similar experiences.
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2021.10.16 11:45 gssn-nospace I got hit by a gold bar
2021.10.16 11:45 geraldbauer Build (Crypto) Pixel Punk #6046 With Record-Setting "Declined" Fraudster $9.5 Bid To Self To Fool the World Using Punk, The Shell Edition V2
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2021.10.16 11:45 jakehale97 What is this in my zoa? Looks like aiptasia maybe?? Should I be removing? If so how?
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2021.10.16 11:45 AffiliateLeakz 📣🆕 SHIBA ROBINHOOD LISTING🔥 शिबा ने सबको पीछे किया🚀SHIBA ₹1🔥Shiba inu coin prediction 2021#Shibacoin
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2021.10.16 11:45 red_kite18 Come affrontare i boss di hollow knight con zero effort:
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2021.10.16 11:45 NanashiSensei Demon King Axe n Tablet Locations
Hye guys ..
1.Where exaactly can i find the Demon King Axe ? Is it the battle Road ? Battle tower or somewhere else ? The copies r only in the shop.
2021.10.16 11:45 Haydenpgpggothaked Trying to trade off passion, any offers
2021.10.16 11:45 Z0RO_JURO Kuva Bramma 26% toxin , worth anything ?
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2021.10.16 11:45 OliverMarkusMalloy Russian Spacecraft Fires Thrusters and Pushes the Space Station Out of Position, Again: A Soyuz MS-18 spacecraft pushed the space station out of its position during a test firing of thrusters on Monday, October 15th. This is the second time a Russian spacecraft has caused such an incident since July
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2021.10.16 11:45 robotropolis Two random Chinese paintings
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2021.10.16 11:45 No_Buyer411 Sakshi Agarwal Is Perfect Wife Material !!!
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2021.10.16 11:45 AffiliateLeakz SHIBA INU! 4000+ ATMs , +70% PRICE PREDICTION!!
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2021.10.16 11:45 MiffedMoogle Will the Ares Inferno sound like this?
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2021.10.16 11:45 Creepy-Professor1993 BATTLEFIELD 2042 LMG IS OP!?
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2021.10.16 11:45 Newsfeedinexile Throwing Stones tease in Mercury?
2021.10.16 11:45 dietcokefairy It annoys me so much that Joe never gets what he deserves for his shitty actions
Seriously. He's just as bad as Love but so far it's just Beck and Love and other people dying while he never gets caught and seems to be able to have a fresh start every season. I'm really hoping this mf gets himself killed in season 4.
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